no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the day after is always just damage control
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
