Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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