it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
