Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
where are my eyebrows?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
