He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
