The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
When are your genitals available?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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