I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
