How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
