So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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