Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
