My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
