I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
