just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
