Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize