so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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