When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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