So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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