broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
