You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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