Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize