saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
