These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Randomize
