THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize