Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
