I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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