So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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