what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
