I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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