I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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