It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
