I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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