I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
