Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
