I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
