glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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