David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
