It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
