Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
