Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
