I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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