And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize