So drunk, too bad you don't want this
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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