Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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