hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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