He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
