Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
