I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
