yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
