2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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