can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize
