i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
