Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize