My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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