I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We got so high we made milksteak
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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