I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
