All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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