Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
