I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
