Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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