your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
