Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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