wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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