cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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