This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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