Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
