my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Will you blow on my dice?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
