I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
